Day 9: Bielema, beans, and bowels

After a long night of driving from Norman, OK following the Louisiana Tech vs. Oklahoma game, Day 8 ended and Day 9 began in Arkansas, home of pudgy presidents, bad football coaches, and pudgy, bad football coaches.  We arrived in Fort Smith around 1:30am, ensuring another short night of sleep.  However, making it Fort Smith meant that the drive to Knoxville the next day would only be 10 hours rather than the 13 hours we planned on had we drove from Norman.

Despite our best efforts, we left the hotel later than we had hoped after a stop at the hotel breakfast bar.  At this point, the standard make-your-own waffles every hotel seems to have had grown tiresome, so it was two bowls of Raisin Bran for me and sausage and pre-formed scrambled egg disks for Matt.  Given the frequency of bathroom stops the rest of the trip, you would have thought it was Matt who ate the Raisin Bran.

We hit the road around 8:30am, shortly after securing the most expensive tickets of the trip so far on Stub Hub - $80 each.  Not totally unexpected given that the game was a sellout.  (As an aside, the average face value per ticket is $45.  The stadium holds 102, 455.  That's $4.6 million in ticket value each game.)

As we drove through Arkansas, the scenery had changed from the desert landscapes of the southwest to green and lush environments more typical of the south.  I knew we were getting closer to North Carolina when I saw Cheerwine on a gas station shelf, kudzu enveloping everything along the side of the road, and billboards for Hardees instead of Carl's Jr.

We eventually made it through Arkansas into western Tennessee where we were welcomed by the sight of Memphis on the banks of the Mississippi.  And just like the real Memphis, this one also has a pyramid.

It was about 2pm when we passed through town, which gave us the perfect excuse to try some Memphis BBQ for lunch.  We stumbled upon a place near the highway that ended up being very legit.  The smoke box near the drive-through window was undoubtedly a very effective marketing strategy.  Both Matt and I got the pulled pork sandwich.  I opted for the hushpuppies while Matt got the baked beans, which was highly unnecessary given the current state of his digestive system.  I'd give the BBQ an A-.  The sauce was very good and the meat was tender but it didn't have much smoke flavor.  The hushpuppies were a B.  A little too dry and cornmeal-y, although the jalapenos added a nice dimension of flavor.

After eating, I took over driving responsibilities while Matt resumed his pre-pubescent female ways.

After our pit stop for BBQ, it was clear we weren't making it to Knoxville for the 7pm EDT kickoff.  Losing an hour traveling west to east was really playing havoc with our schedule.  We eventually rolled into town around 8:30pm just as the first half was ending.  Although our $80 tickets were now much more expensive ($2.67 per minute of playing time), our tardiness meant we didn't have to pay for parking in the garage that was just a few minute walk to the stadium.

We entered the concourse and immediately noticed that the cowboy-boot-and-dress uniform we observed in Norman wasn't reserved just for the Oklahoma female undergrads, but had found its way to Knoxville, too.

The breadth of attire throughout the stadium was quite large, ranging from the boots-and-dress look for females and the stereotypical Southern pastels-and-croakies look for males, to checkerboard overalls, undershirt optional.

There was no shortage of time to observe the fashion trends because the concourse area was a nightmare.  The stadium has been added onto a number of times as part of a juvenile spat with the University of Michigan to claim the largest capacity stadium in the country.  As a result, there are numerous pinch points in the concourse where the new additions butt up against the old structure, leaving little room to maneuver through the throngs of people waiting in line for their cup of Petro's.

We finally fought through the crowd and found our way to our seats in section PP after a short stop at the spirit shop to pick up a few more souvenirs,  Once inside, you begin to appreciate the enormity of the stadium.  Leg space is at a premium, which allows for more rows of seats than would otherwise be possible.  But the crowd was great and very knowledgeable.  Even the old lady behind me knew all the nuances of the ineligible-receiver-downfield rules.  And there was all the pomp and circumstance you'd expect from a southern football game, including numerous renditions of Rocky Top and multiple appearances from Smokey.  Much like the two previous games we had been to, the outcome was never really in doubt.  Tennessee was clearly the better team and it showed in the 38-7 final score.

After the game was over, we headed back to our free parking spot and decided to put in a few miles on the road that night.  The game in Knoxville was Matt's last stop of the trip and his flight the next day was at 12:30pm out of Louisville, which was still three hours away.  We set our sights on Corbin, KY, about an hour south of Lexington and home to Kentucky Fried Chicken, where we arrived around midnight.  Another short night of sleep would follow.